Dan's College Journey

Dan at his graduation in 2016 with his Dad and his younger sister Katie

The year was 2013. I was an eager young 22 year old just starting his first semester at Wayne state. I had been at 2 other colleges over the last 3 years and was ready to settle in. Then life threw me a curveball. I ran twice one day, and woke up confused, with concerned paramedics surrounding me telling me I had a seizure. 

This wasn’t an totally unexpected event. I had a strange event from a stomach flu the April before that put me in the hospital. I had been delirious, dehydrated, sore, and weak for days after that, but we all thought it was dehydration.

Up until the seizure, I had been a very busy student. I commuted to school, I worked part time at Carrabba’s often until midnight, and I drove around everywhere for work, as well as staying up late.

My life had changed in many ways, starting with the most significant change: driving

Transportation

The first major obstacle I learned about with my epilepsy diagnosis was the ceasing of driving. I live in Michigan, which is a state that is automobile based, and thankfully, I was able to drive everywhere before my diagnosis. But the law in Michigan requires you to be 6 months seizure free before I could go back on the road, so the 6 months was always a milestone I would work towards and achieve. And when I can't reach that milestone, I have to be vulnerable and reliant on others to drive me and get around. Some of my friends were perfectly willing and able to go out of their way and drive me home. Other times, it was met with a no or disbelief that I'm not able to drive. Handling that rejection of those who couldn’t drive me or weren’t willing to was a major mental hurdle in itself. I would often feel like a burden to those who would drive me, especially with the guilt of constantly being relied on for the rides.

The lack of transportation was also giving up control of when to arrive and leave many social events. When you are no longer able to drive, the schedule of when to leave or arrive at a place is no longer up to you; you are at someone else’s mercy. My support system had grown almost tenfold, with the help of my parents and parents' friends reaching out to offer to drive me to places if I needed to. If you know me personally and are reading this, I just want to say thank you for driving me around during these times. I can’t thank you enough for helping me get from point A to point B. Without you, I wouldn’t feel nearly as supported and loved. Please know that if you are having transportation troubles, you are not alone, especially in college. In college, that support system for transportation can come from socializing, forming relationships, or even talking to the campus centers and asking for advice.

Time management

One of the main effects of my epilepsy was adjusting to a strict schedule. One of my main triggers for seizures is a lack of sleep, so I soon had to be on a strict sleeping schedule and a social schedule. When one goes to college, many events are in the evening, so I wouldn't be able to attend many night events or concerts anymore. I gave myself a hard cutoff time for homework at 8:00 p.m. Much like I had to schedule driving, I would also give myself a hard time to be home from any events.

Timing is also important when having to take my regular medication, so my schedule has to revolve around that as well. I can’t sleep in too late or go to bed too early or my medication will be at a different time. I will often have to bring medications with me to work and school, and be aware of the side effects of the medications. Since the meds I first started taking were new to me, I had to adjust to the body’s changes to it, and had to adjust my body’s internal clock to its time. If you’re going to school, make sure to be aware of your medication effects and trust your gut. If you’re too tired for a party, pass on it.

From left to right: Dan's sister Katie, his brother Patrick, his sister Bridget, his mother, his dad and himself, on vacation in 2013

Social life

Very closely related to my first two topics driving comes the relation of epilepsy to my social life. With the tiredness of having seizures mixed with the desire to connect with other beings, I did have a slightly hard time in college learning. The question remained: when do I tell people they have epilepsy? How would they take it?

While I was pondering this, I was confessing this to many of my friends. Some were supportive. Others were not, and one friend who offered to take me to the shooting range before took back his offer. I had to cope with the feeling that not everybody would be able to drive me and transportation was not in my control. This wreaked havoc on my self esteem, and thus I turned down many socialization opportunities, including a possible date. Eventually, I did manage to adjust my schedule to fit my health needs, which includes making sure to take some days off when I need to have a day off. You’re going through a tough time, and it’s good to recognize it. So talk to people, because you shouldn't go through this alone.

Master’s with seizure

I spent a few years in the work force and in 2022, I decided to return to Wayne State to get my master's degree. The time here was different from the time I was an undergraduate; I was doing it with a virtual option. This is a convenient option for me because I can attend classes or work on homework during any time of day. I don’t have to travel for class, so when I have a seizure, I don’t have to worry about transportation to class. It is also easier to keep my strict sleep schedule under control, even if the office hours can be late

On the flip side, it can be lonely because the virtual meetup with my classmates doesn’t feel the same as meeting with friends in person, and I do dislike being in front of a computer to talk to people virtually. I do remember the lessons to have a reliable crew, talk to friends and keep a schedule. I’m fortunate to have found this group with people in a similar boat to me, and I’m excited to keep in touch after I graduate in December. If you are like me, you are already on the right path by seeking a support group like this. We are all in this together. We are all here for you. You can get through this!